Dear Family and Friends, Monday, December 8, 2014
This
week has been one of the worst on my mission. I felt almost zero desire
to work or even be a missionary which is a feeling that I have never
felt before on my mission. Many times this week all I could think about
was home and how much I want to be back. Throughout the week I kept trying to ignite my desire somehow but it didn't really come back until last night. It
still isn't huge but I am working on it. I have been very frustrated
with the work. It just seems to be so slow here. I feel like we have
been working so hard with slim to nothing improvement to the area these
past 5 weeks. We were able to find several investigators but they
dropped us as soon as they started investigating. We have one
investigator now. That is it. I have no idea what to do to find people
that would be effective. We have been contacting less actives and boxing
them out like crazy. We have been trying to set things up with ward
members and seeking referrals. We have been handing out 10 or more
Christmas pass along cards every day. All of this and no for-seen
success has been very frustrating and disappointing.
Last night I
couldn't sleep because of the anxiety of trying to get this area going. I
tossed and turned until 11:30; then I finally got up and read my scriptures in the bathroom until 12:00.
I was able to find some scriptures that helped. I wanted to find
something that gave me the desire to work. Here are several of these
scriptures:
Alma
36:3 O my son [Elder Jensen], behold, thou art in thy youth, and
therefore, I beseech of thee that thou wilt hear my words and learn of
me; for I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be
supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions,
and shall be lifted up at the last day.
After I am changed from these trials I want to be able to say as Alma:
Alma
36:24 Yea, and from that time even until now, I have labored without
ceasing, that I might bring souls unto repentance; that I might bring
them to taste of the exceeding joy of which I did taste; that they might
also be born of God, and be filled with the Holy Ghost. And I have been
supported under trials and troubles of every kind, yea, and in all
manner of afflictions; yea, God has delivered me from prison, and from
bonds, and from death; yea, and I do put my trust in him, and he will
still deliver me.
Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:31 If God be for us, who can [prevail] against us? (JST)
Before
I left on my mission me and President Taylor had a very good talk. He
told me that my mission would be such a growing experience and it truly
has. He told me that I would pass through a refiners fire. He knows I am
a mechanic. He asked me if I had ever machined an engine block. I told
him I had not. He reminded me of the process. In order to work both the
head and the block of an engine must be perfectly smooth and flat...
perfectly. It cannot be off 1000th of an inch, otherwise it easily would
blow a head gasket. So both the head and the block are machined down
perfectly. In the machine shop they cut down a tiny portion at the top
of the metal to make it smooth. In a metaphor the engine block must
endure pain in order to be perfect. He read a scripture to me that
relates the experience Isaiah had before he was called to be a prophet.
2Ne
16:7 5 Then said I: Wo is unto me! for I am undone; because I am a man
of unclean lips; and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips;
for mine eyes have seen the King, the Lord of Hosts.
6 Then flew one of the seraphim unto me, having a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with the tongs from off the altar;
7 And he laid it upon my mouth, and said: Lo, this has touched thy lips; and thine iniquity is taken away, and thy sin purged.
Before
being called Isaiah was an unclean person. He had unclean lips and he
felt unworthy to become a prophet. But in metaphor an angel came with a
live coal from the altar of the temple and placed it to his lips
cleansing them with fire and his sins were taken away. President Taylor
told me to imagine that happening and the amount of pain that it would
be to have a live coal pressed to your lips. He told me I would have
similar experiences on my mission. He told me that it would be the most
painful thing I have ever done up to this point in my life. And it has. I
testify that God knows what he wants us to be and he gives us
experiences to make us into what he sees us becoming. I know that God
loves us and that he wants whats best for us. He gives us painful
experiences but as we trust in God we can prevail. Just like the
inscription on a coin. In God We Trust.
Elder CWJensen